“Love is a lot like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get, and by the end, you’re left with a lot of empty wrappers.”

“Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you…until you eat all my chocolate.”

“Love is in the air…but so is the smell of burnt dinner.”

“Instead of a fairy tale, our love story would be more like a horror movie…with a lot of jump scares and strange creatures.”

“Love is blind, but my partner’s snoring is making me deaf.”

“The only person I want to be in a long distance relationship with is my bed.”

“Valentine’s Day should be renamed ‘Extortion Day’ – they make us pay extra for the same chocolates and flowers!”

“My love for you is like a fart – it’s silent, deadly, and sometimes I can’t hold it in.”

“I love you to the moon and back, but could you pick up some groceries on the way home?”

“All you need is love…and maybe a little bit of chocolate, too.”

“I love you, but please don’t be surprised if my Valentine’s Day gift is a gym membership.”

“Roses are red, violets are blue. Oh, who am I kidding? I hate poetry, and I hate you.”

“Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to remind you that money can’t buy love, but it can buy some really nice chocolates.”

“I love you more than pizza, and that’s saying a lot because I really, really love pizza.”

“You’re the avocado to my toast…crushed and spread everywhere.”

“Love is sharing your popcorn at the movies…and secretly hoping they don’t eat too much.”

“Forget love, I’d rather fall in chocolate.”

“Cupid must be drunk this year because love seems to be hitting all the wrong targets.”

“Roses are red, violets are blue, I hope your Valentine’s Day is better than my cooking skills.”

“Love is like a toilet roll, you never realize how much you need it until it’s gone.”

“Valentine’s Day is just a conspiracy to sell more greeting cards and heart-shaped chocolates.”

“Who needs a Valentine when you have Netflix and unlimited pizza delivery?”

“I love you more than a dog loves chasing its tail…and that’s saying something!”

“If love is blind, then my bank account must be deaf and mute.”

“Valentine’s Day is great and all, but have you tried half-priced chocolates on February 15th?”