“Whoever said ‘All is calm’ has never been to my house during Christmas!”

“Santa, please bring me patience. And lots of wine. Thanks.”

“Christmas calories don’t count, right? Asking for a friend.”

“Dear Santa, define ‘nice’…”

“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink red.”

“May your Christmas tree be filled with presents and your friends and family be filled with food.”

“I tried to be nice this year, but it just didn’t work out.”

“Christmas is the only time of year when it’s acceptable to publicly wear an ugly sweater.”

“The only time of year when it’s perfectly acceptable to eat cookies for breakfast.”

“Christmas is the perfect time to exchange kisses… and cookies.”

“Eat, drink, and be merry. Just don’t forget to save some for Santa.”

“Dear Santa, I can explain.”

“May your holiday season be filled with joy, laughter, and a little bit of awkwardness.”

“Doesn’t it feel like Christmas came just yesterday… and yet still left the tree up?”

“Sending you holiday cheer… and an engraved invitation to my Christmas party!”

“My wish this Christmas is that my relatives don’t act like the gift receipt is optional.”

“It’s the most wine-derful time of the year!”

“Santa Claus has arrived. And he’s emptying our wallets.”

“Being Merry is a full-time job. Who’s hiring?”

“I’m dreaming of a silent night. So please, no singing.”

“Christmas isn’t about money. It’s about the cookies you steal from the cookie jar when no one’s looking.”