“Love is like a fart, if you have to force it, it’s probably crap.”

“Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.”

“Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays but you know it’s there.”

“I love you more than pizza, and that’s saying a lot.”

“Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re probably drunk.”

“Love is sharing your popcorn even when you only have five pieces.”

“Life is too short to take seriously. Laugh at yourself relentlessly.”

“Love is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke, and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.”

“Life is full of little pleasures, like when someone clicks the ‘like’ button on your selfie.”

“Love is like a blender, if you don’t put anything in, you won’t get anything out.”

“Life is like a rollercoaster, full of ups and downs, and it’ll probably make you want to puke at times.”

“Love is like a pimple, it can be annoying and painful, but it eventually disappears.”

“Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship’s kitchen.”

“Love is like Wi-Fi, it’s all around you but you still need to pay for it.”

“Life is like a box of chocolates, full of unexpected ingredients that may or may not taste good together.”

“Love is like a battery, it has positive and negative sides, but you still have to stay charged to keep the spark alive.”

“Life is too short to be taken seriously. Make sure your laughter is louder than your problems.”

“Love is like a tug of war, two people pulling in opposite directions, hoping the rope won’t break.”

“Life is like a player, sometimes it’s just better to hit the reset button and start over.”

“Love is like a rooster alarm clock, annoying in the morning but you can’t live without it.”

“Life is like a camera, focus on what’s important, capture the good times, and delete the negative ones.”

“Love is like a fart, if you have to force it, it’s probably crap.”

“Life is like a romantic comedy, minus the romance and just a lot of comedy.”

“Love is like a pizza, everyone wants a slice, but you end up sharing it with someone else.”

“Life is like a traffic jam, it’s better to enjoy the view than get frustrated over the situation.”

“Love is like a math equation, if you add a bed, subtract clothes, divide the legs, and multiply the pleasure, you’ll get a solution called happiness.”